Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Deconstructing the Symbol: The Groovy Cum Bomb and What it Means to You

The official seal of War, Semen & Grooviness, affectionately referred to as the Groovy Cum Bomb, is a new symbol that modernizes and celebrates the archetypes of the ancient world.

A cursory glance at the seal will show a fresh, fun piece of violent pop art, but the discerning eye will reveal a symbol seeped in the traditions of ancient man and his theological quest to understand the world around him. Understanding both points of view is necessary to utilizing the Groovy Cum Bomb to benefit your life and to give you the tools necessary to succeed. Let’s begin by pinpointing the more obvious symbolic implications of the image.

The Groovy Cum Bomb can be simply divided into three seemingly disparate symbols; The Flower, The Bomb, and The Sperm.

The Flower is a modern cultural representative of Grooviness, a term made popular in the decades of the 60s and 70s. It represents a state of mind that is very pleasing, an exuberant outlook on life that uses fun, fashion and catchy rock n’ pop hooks as its flashy seeing-eye glasses. It is the way in which you walk your life, a unique skip-in-your-step amidst the meandering, shuffling gaits of lesser men. The image of the Flower is also strikingly feminine in appearance. Culturally, a single rose, or a bouquet of many, has been used to win the affections of a lovely lady and the term ‘flower’, itself, has been used to describe the moist and fertile virginity of the fun, female love cave.

The Bomb is an obvious representative of the act of War. War is a necessary function of all prosperous nations and has historically been a hallmark of accomplishment and societal evolution. War has built roads, exalted heroes and has been the testing ground for man’s greatest inventions, which in turn has allowed him to follow his imagination to the furthest reaches of space and soul. Man is a natural predator and he must exercise that nature, lest it atrophies like an underused muscle. The image of the Bomb itself is decidedly masculine and phallic. Historically, it has been the duty of the male to command fleets, lead cavalries and make virtually all of the important decisions concerning military strategy and warfare. Within the Groovy Cum Bomb, the image of the Bomb is intricately bonded to the Sperm symbol.

The Sperm is the Seed of Growth, the ‘eternal spark’ that grants life and change and gives promise for the future of mankind. It is the sticky residue that binds all opposites and provides colorful alliteration to the facial expressions of our most beloved porn actors and actresses. Forever linked to the image of the Bomb, the sperm provides the chance for renewal and order amidst the destruction and chaos of War. The Bomb and the Sperm are forever dependent upon each other, for without the violent overthrow of the status quo, real life could not have its chance, and without the promise of new life, War would serve no purpose.

Looking at the Groovy Cum Bomb, now as a whole, one can easily perceive the sacred act of the phallic interject spreading its seed of life into the open womb of the Flower; or hard-core fucking, God-Style. It is upon this principal, that the foundations of War, Semen & Grooviness are built. Fully initiated members of the ‘Fab Reich’ proudly walk in the ways of WSG and wear the Groovy Cum Bomb with dignity and unwavering example. They realize that life (creation) cannot happen without death (destruction) and that one should always look as Outta Sight as possible.

But what of the inherent dualities of the masculine and feminine roles that exists within the Groovy Cum Bomb? What are the hidden truths contained therein? Exploring this notion further requires a brief explanation of several archetypal symbols that have been used by various cultures for centuries.

The Cosmic Egg

“One egg's lower half transformed
And became the earth below,
And its upper half transmuted
And became the sky above;
From the yolk the sun was made,
Light of day to shine upon us;
From the white the moon was formed,
Light of night to gleam above us;
All the colored brighter bits
Rose to be the stars of heaven
And the darker crumbs changed into
Clouds and cloudlets in the sky.”

From Kalevala, the Finnish national epic, 1849

The concept of the universe hatching from a singular egg is a popular mythological motif found in the creation stories of many different cultures.

In Chinese creation, Taoist monks developed the Myth of Pangu, which told of the God Pangu, growing inside of an egg until the egg cracked; the upper half of the egg becoming the sky and the lower part becoming the earth. Pangu grew so large that the sky and the earth were forced to move further apart from each other and when Pangu grew so large that he could not maintain himself, his body broke apart and became the different parts of the earth. In Egyptian Mythology, the Milky Way was born out of the waters as a mound of dirt and the Cosmic Egg containing Ra was laid upon this mound by a celestial Goose. Later, as the Cult of Thoth grew to preponderance, the Egg was said to have been a gift of Thoth, and was believed to have been laid by an Ibis, the bird associated with that God. Earlier Sanskrit scriptures speak of the Brahmanda (Brahm means 'Cosmos' or 'expanding', Anda means 'Egg') and is considered to be the earliest known concept of an ‘egg shaped cosmos’. Even the contemporary Partridge Family Temple states that “In the beginning there was nothing but a blue and yellow Cosmic Egg. The egg cracked open to reveal Shirley's animal form, the Partridge.”

The concept of the Cosmic Egg can also be easily applied to the realm of science. Popular theory states that roughly 13.7 billion years ago, the universe began as a singular atom (the cosmic egg) and through the ‘Big Bang’ (or hatching) expanded into the universe of today. And what of the concept of human birth itself? A human being gets its start from a singular egg, one of many, and with the addition of a singular seed, grows into a fully functional individual. As is the Universe, so is Man.

It should be obvious now that the concept of the Cosmic Egg is one that is readily applicable to many different creation theories, mythological or otherwise, and that its importance and influence in Man’s quest to understand the origins of his environment cannot be understated. How the Cosmic Egg relates to the Groovy Cum Bomb will be outlined further on in this essay.

The Alchemical Triangles of Masculinity and Femininity and the Seal of Solomon

“Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!”
- Kindergarten Cop, 1990

The aspects of male and female identities have often been represented in Alchemy by an upward pointing Male Triangle (fire) and a downward pointing Female Triangle (water).

The upward pointing triangle alludes to the point of a blade and carries with it the inherent qualities of fire and the masculine drive (anger, war, passion, the quest for divinity, and the erect phallus).

The downward pointing triangle is an obvious representation of the female sexual organ and also alludes to the downward flow of water (water’s properties also being cold and moist and the necessary medium for life to exist). When these two seemingly opposing forces are overlapped, they create a Hexagram, or the Seal of Solomon.

The Seal of Solomon represents the necessary and divine union between Male and Female forces, resulting in the fertile act upon which all existence does hinge. The Seal is also known as the Star of David, which is used as a symbol for Jewish Identity and Kabbalistically, refers to the Sefirah Tifaret, or perfection, both of which could be seen as the true, dualistic nature of God.

The Hidden Meaning of the Groovy Cum Bomb

Now that we have outlined the natures of several dominant mythological and alchemical figures, it is time to reveal how these ancient symbols and concepts directly correlate with our current symbol, the Groovy Cum Bomb.

By combining the images of The Cosmic Egg and the downward pointing Female triangle, one creates an overlapping symbol of female fertility; the vaginal organ and the fertile egg become interlinked, the importance of one depending wholly on the other. But the dependant destinies do not end there, with this combination one also creates the image of the Masculine Bomb!

Through this union of symbols, the male driven force of the Bomb and the femininity of the Vaginal Egg become partners in the act of creation. A beautiful, dualistic vision comes to life; the phallic act of war ravages country sides, usurps thrones and tears at the hymen wall, delivering with it the seed of life, whereas the vaginal cosmic egg is the hopeful promise of a new universe, and lays itself bare to accept the seed and continue this cycle of predestination.

For the sake of the symbol, the image of the sperm acts not so much as a prototypical figure, but more as the visual nexus between the ever shifting roles of the masculine phallus and the feminine egg. In classic terms, it is textbook sexual reproduction in the grandest sense. It is the binding image and the active nature of the sperm that allows these two opposing energies to co-exist and exercise their natural and symbolic functions.

To complete the image of the Groovy Cum Bomb, this fluid action occurs in the midst of the Flower of Grooviness. One can note that when super-imposing the aforementioned Seal of Solomon onto the Groovy Flower, it shows a perfect six pointed, or petalled, match. This is certainly no happy accident.

The Seal of Solomon and the Flower of Grooviness become united under the banner of the perfect womb. They become the divine uterus of creation, or the way in which you walk your life, wherein the grim physical realities of actual creation may take place. To put it simply, your own groovy attitude will dictate the works you create in life. Without waving the banner of the perfect womb, one’s life will be barren and their works, stillborn. But by wearing the Groovy Cum Bomb, and by becoming a fully initiated member of the ‘Fab Reich’, one will constantly strive for and achieve excellence and harmony in all that he or she does.

To walk in the ways of War, Semen & Grooviness is a privilege that cannot be taken lightly. The recipient of this knowledge now wears the burden of absolute truth and any subsequent missteps cannot be blamed on naivety. The future shines bright for those select and elite individuals who choose to bear this symbol. Within the perfect womb they are but constant embryos, forever being reborn with each passing experience and awaiting the coming dawn with new eyes. As balanced individuals, they present an open palm as well as a closed fist. They are to be feared and they are to be loved. They dress well, they smell fresh and they will drink you under the table.

They are the Fab Reich!


  1. I love you, miss gorgeous, and I don't wanna spend my eternity Upstairs without you. God bless you.